Self Help: Why Bother? Nothing Changes. I’m Stuck. How to get Unstuck and get Moving Again

Change cannot happen without action.

Taking action is the physical demonstration and commitment to our desire.

That doesn’t mean we need to force or control everything to make things happen and or change.

All change actually needs to get things moving again is a small shift from you…

A small act of courage; just like getting out of bed when apathy says  ~ Why Bother?

I’m sure many of you have experienced the pain of grief when reality feels almost too much to bear, when a loved one has died, or left, and you can’t imagine how life could ever continue. For a while, you really do want it all to stop changing.

I’ve been there. When you wake up in the morning, you remember the loss you had briefly forgotten when you were asleep and it hits you all over again, anew. However, if you stay too long in bed, hiding from the world, getting up can become nearly impossible.

The pain and sadness just swamps you and completely disables your body.

But grief needs action to heal.

Grief needs crying, talking, shouting, moving, walking in order to be processed through the body over a period of time. If we don’t do these things, the grief just gets stuck in our bodies and we stay locked in shock.

The process of getting stuck and unstuck again is the same even though it may seem that the causing issues vary wildly.

Stuckness is caused by shifting our focus to the worries created by our minds, as one of my clients described

“A swarm of wasps buzzing around the inside of my head, out to all sting my brain”.

These are not real, just ideas that your mind is creating to make sense of the emotional energy present in your body, which you have become afraid of and are trying to escape.

How To Get Unstuck:

1: There is only one way through; moving our attention and awareness back out of our minds and back into our bodies and senses by taking small, conscious, consistent physical actions, movements, or expressions of our feelings.

2: The longer we avoid and we leave it and stay stuck; the more effort, courage and action it will take to get unstuck.

3: Whatever you do, do the opposite of what is creating the stuckness.

Once you begin to physically move and shake things up a little, then the energy in your body can start to move again and, just as a snowball becomes an avalanche, or gravity causes an apple to fall to the ground, it has the momentum to keep going.

Change is inevitable, but sometimes it just needs a little push to get started again…

Worrying about a problem yet not sharing your worries (problems about money, your job, relationships, loss, etc.)?

• Check your basic needs, those which are reality

• Am I hungry? If yes, eat.

• Am I thirsty? If yes, then drink.

• Am I warm or cool enough? Adjust clothing, open a window, etc. to feel comfortable.

• Am I tired? If yes, take a break, or have a nap, get an early night, etc.

o    Talk to someone, anyone: share your worry.
o    Write in a journal/letter.
o    Draw, paint etc. – get free and honest with your expression
o    Beat up your bed or a punch-bag.
o    Go running or do an exercise class.
o    Dance wildly
o    Sing loudly in your car/house.

Creative block: can’t write, paint, draw, begin a project, write a proposal?

o    Get out of your building, Go outside; get some fresh air.
o    Go for a brisk walk (round the block is fine).
o    Enjoy a change of scenery – really look at, listen to, smell your new environment.
o    Go for a drive somewhere new, so you have to focus.
o    Do some stretches/yoga.
o    Scribble on some paper – free expression.

Feeling stuck in your job?

o    Update and revamp your CV.
o    Start looking for other jobs – outside your comfort zone.
o    Look at evening classes or education – learn a new skill.
o    Get an evening job.
o    Take a break and put some distance between you and where you live and work, in order to find a fresh perspective.
o    Write down what frustrates you in a journal or a letter to a good friend: be honest!

Grieving?

o    Get out of bed.
o    Get washed and dressed – you will feel better after doing this.
o    Eat and if you can try eat something healthy.
o    Go for a walk, get fresh air.
o    Make sure you have a daily routine in place.
o    Write a journal or talk to someone.
o    Go to work, take the kids to school as normal.
o    Take one small step at a time – be kind and loving to yourself.

We all get stuck on big and small problems. It’s a horrible feeling, and it can make us feel totally powerless.

Learning to shift stuckness on a day-to-day level stops us getting stuck for a long time on the bigger problems, which can make us ill and depressed – and which needs so much more energy and courage to shift.

Don’t let fear and apathy ruin your day, your achievements, or your life!

Take action – one small step at a time, create a small shift, take action, get physically moving – and change will gather momentum. Before you know it, it will all be different – that I can guarantee!