Dating a Fireman in 2024: Pros, Cons, Things to Know
By Ruth Jesse
January 10, 2024 • Fact checked by Dumb Little Man
Most of the time, dating a fireman is the same as dating anybody else. Work schedules, high-stress levels, and the possibility of accidents and hazards can all pose obstacles to a partnership. To be happy dating a fireman, you need to know and respect such limits first.
It takes a particular kind of person to comprehend the difficulties of dating a firefighter. You must also be tough and ready to bear the burden of understanding that your partner is always fighting flames and entering perilous circumstances. Dating a fireman, in other words, is not for the faint-hearted.
People often say dating a fireman seems awesome, yet there are certain factors to consider and pros and cons. Therefore, knowing the advantages and disadvantages of dating a fireman can help you better grasp what you’re getting yourself into and how to handle the obstacles and pleasures of courting a firefighter.
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Things to Know About Dating a Fireman
Dating a fireman may be both exciting and terrifying. There’s a lot to digest when it comes to firefighting. You may be casual friends, folks who met online dating, or just a distant admirer. However, what is it truly like when it comes to relationships with firefighters?
Like the films, where there are crazy romantic plots and heroic rescues? Are the station’s employees choosing to disregard you, charm you, or attempt to separate you? What’s with all the tales about firefighters being adulterous and leaving people in the dust despite performing great newsworthy acts like saving the lives of residents?
You should know a few things about courting a firefighter, ranging from silly misconceptions that aren’t true to feel-good information that warms your emotions. Extraversion is high among firemen, which means they rely on external stimuli to make them happy, including individuals or exciting settings. They also score well on the conscientiousness scale, indicating that they are systematic, dependable, and generally plan ahead of time.
Firefighters are noted for the close relationships they build with their station staff. Most firefighters are intergenerational, with their parents, siblings, and children serving in the field. Whereas the work they perform is vital, they put their lives on the line each day, and it takes a strong individual to cope with that.
There are various types of firefighters. Career firefighters, who have been trained to become firefighters, and volunteer firefighters who respond as needed. There are wildland firefighters and hotshot firefighters who dive into wildfires and combat the raging firehouse right in its thick.
We’ll focus on career firefighters in this post, meaning those dwelling and working in a local fire station fighting fires. A firefighter’s schedule often follows one of two patterns: Three to four 10- or 12-hour sessions each week, or a 24-hour duty preceded by 48 hours off. When a firefighter is on the schedule, he’s at the station, which implies that he may not be sleeping at home every night if you’re dating a firefighter.
Pros of Dating a Fireman
Consider a sultry fireman rescuing someone from active shooter events in a few minutes. That is the most enticing fantasy. The ideal sex symbol is a fireman as they are muscular, appealing, and powerful. Firemen can be perplexing. It isn’t easy to imagine what it’s like to date one. There are several benefits you should be aware of before committing. Continue reading to learn the truth about dating a fireman!
◉ A fireman is usually good in physical shape
The rigorous training that firefighters do daily is demanding. It is not for everyone. Their bodies are in excellent condition. You don’t have to force them to the gymnasium to see how other gorgeous trainers exercise their bodies.
They’ll teach you everything you need to know. Once again, their high criteria for physical metrics are beneficial to your health. You are continually reminded of the need to be in shape. I’ll never pay for a personal trainer again. You have one at home.
Becoming a firefighter ensures that your date will receive some positive attention from everyone else. Their passion astounds people, and they look up to them. They are role models for teenagers who aspire to become whoever they want to be. When you bring a firefighter to a family event, they immediately become the focus of attention. They are motivating. It will be a privilege to have one as your date.
◉ A fireman is kind and compassionate
Every day, firefighters put their lives in danger for work. They are selfless and passionate about their work, and they would not change a thing if it were up to them. This is an admirable quality. Each firefighter is a kind individual. After all, their job entails putting their life on the line to save someone else. One can’t work in that position unless they have a big heart.
Anticipate them to be pleasant and courteous. They will be eager to assist everybody. It makes you happy to know you’re dating such a lovely person. If you’re having trouble coping with your work pressure, don’t expect him to switch careers for you.
The majority of those who join the fire station do so for the rest of their lives. They don’t change jobs unless they get hurt or move to another first-responder job, such as law enforcement. That kind of dedication is admirable and appreciated, so be prepared to appreciate the occupation when dating a firefighter.
◉ You can easily make new friends
The fire service is frequently a close-knit community. The importance of group training and bonding cannot be overstated. As a result, if you’re dating a firefighter, you’re bound to be close to your friends and family. The majority of their buddies will be male. As a result, you’ll have a lot of buddies to hang out with.
Given the dangers of the work and the fact that firefighters die in the line of duty, it’s no wonder firefighters form close connections with their fire engine personnel and consider them family. That means they’re also a part of your family. As such, birthdays and important life events such as graduation and marriage will be spent together.
And, if the unexpected occurs in a fire truck or the field, they will be there for one another if a family member dies in the line of service.
If you’re seeing a firefighter, don’t expect to be taken to the department early on in the relationship. He’ll want to make sure you’re okay before presenting you to everybody, just like taking a date home to meet the parents. It indicates that you’re in a committed relationship when you make that leap.
Cons of Dating a Fireman
It is not unique to see any other man; besides, you might be left alone on a romantic weekend, and if they’re a career, their shifts might coincide with yours, but that’s true of any shift work job. As others have noted, they might return from calls filthy or stinky, but they aren’t very outstanding. The following list will illustrate the noticeable downsides of dating a fireman.
❏ A firefighter’s other family comes first over you
That other family is the team firefighters work together and are a part of, not another spouse. Firefighters spend lots of time with the same people, frequently as their spouses, which contributes to a family-like attachment to the team.
When confronted with some difficulties, your firefighter will seek their assistance against yours. This is normal and to be welcomed because it means you won’t have to perform all the mental stress of the relationship.
Whenever trouble arises, a fireman is inclined to leave you alone for most of the evening. Even if they are not on assignment, firefighters will be called in if a disaster happens. As a result, you’ll have to deal with the consequences independently.
Many individuals can handle it, whereas others prefer to be with their spouses. It doesn’t improve that you’re in the middle of a difficult scenario, and your spouse is also in jeopardy. This is among many cases where you must realize that the work will always take precedence.
❏ Your significant half will be risking their lives daily
To be a firefighter has numerous dangers. One would be faced with the loss of a firefighter at some moment, be it a local firefighter, a firefighter from another state, or even a firefighter from his department. Regardless of who it is, that fatality will strike your spouse hard and serve as a lesson of the company’s hazards. If you can’t deal with this, dating a firefighter isn’t for you as it will occur.
Firefighting is a particularly difficult task that significantly strains the fireman. They are more likely to be killed during a callout, but they are also more likely to develop chronic illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, or suffer from PTSD. You will be forced to admit this if you want the arrangement to succeed.
However, this doesn’t imply that there’s nothing you can do to urge your spouse to keep healthier at home and work.
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❏ Expect long working shifts
A firefighter’s calendar can be flexible in that they can take time off in preparation for anniversaries or celebratory vents. Still, there’s nothing they can do when they are called into duty. Even when they are not working, firefighters listen for alarms to see if anything unusual happens.
All firefighters handle some combinations of vacations, so if getting your spouse to celebrate is vital to you, keep in mind that they do not influence such events. And when a catastrophic disaster strikes or if someone is sick, a firefighter won’t be able to avoid going to work.
The heaviest firefighting assignments can last up to 48 hours, with mandatory overtime added when they’re in the middle of a catastrophe. It isn’t easy to live like a regular family due to this. Your fireman might not even be around on weekends, after a particularly bad day at work, or when your children require assistance.
Firefighters may also be summoned to duty with little or no notice in an incident, leaving you unexpectedly.
❏ Expect emotional disconnection in certain cases
Firefighting is a physically demanding job, and when a firefighter returns home, they may require time to digest and decompress what has just occurred. This doesn’t imply that your spouse doesn’t care about you or doesn’t wish to be near to you; it simply indicates they’re exhausted and need a break.
Whereas if emotional disconnection between you and your partner continues to increase, you may need to have a serious talk with your companion, as this could indicate post-traumatic stress disorder.
Although it may come as a surprise, male firefighters have a divorce rate that is slightly higher than the entire population. On the other hand, female firefighters have a three-percent divorce rate than the general population!
Sometimes firefighters require a break or some time to adjust to their new surroundings psychologically. On the other hand, emotional alienation can be a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), worsening over time when the necessary support networks are absent.
Because of the unusual hours that firefighters work, most couples feel alone or as though they are single parents. Even though the fireman is at home, anxiety or habits prevent the fireman from being emotionally open.
❏ Firefighters can easily become stressed, stressing you too
First responders have to cope with some of the toughest circumstances imaginable. Every call has the potential to be life or death, and when they have a bad shift, it can accompany them for a while. It’s awful to lose a witness. Losing a person from the firefighter team, even if it happens in a different location, can be devastating since it reminds firefighters of other friends who have died or even their destiny.
Each goodbye might be the last for a fireman’s spouse. That may seem dramatic that you could be waving goodbye for the last time as they walk out of the house that same day. Seeing a firefighter entails coping with stress; however, this isn’t the match for you when you can’t manage it.
Firefighting is among the most demanding professions in the United States. Early retirement plans, accidents, broken marriages, suicides, and firefighters engaging in dangerous behaviors have been linked to this stress. Firefighters had the highest rates of suicide, divorce, substance misuse, and heart attacks in the country.
Financial strain owing to insufficient compensation, dread of explosions at disaster sites, poisonous smoke and chemicals produced in flames, and senior management inattention to employment conditions were the most significant stressors for firefighters, irrespective of the stressors’ major characteristics.
As a result, dealing with such situations with a partner might be difficult.
❏ Handling the adulterous stereotypes
Because you’re seeing a firefighter doesn’t imply he’ll cheat; nonetheless, there are jokes and whispers about firefighters being adulterous, leaving you wondering whether it’s true. When you don’t think you’ll be unequipped to handle such jokes and rumors that are most likely untrue, you shouldn’t pursue a firefighter as it will be on your mind.
As a result of their lengthy hours, firefighters have developed the notoriety of becoming the cheaters of the first responder sector. The general norm is that not all firefighters are cheaters and that they only
cheat if it is what they did before becoming firefighters. It isn’t something that happens by chance. Among the first things I learned about firefighters was that they are serial cheats. Cheaters, according to statistics, are seeking to satisfy emotional and physical requirements. We further understand that men and women cheat at the same proportion regardless of their professions.
❏ Frequent communications are rare
It’s difficult for firefighters to talk to you while you are working. Yes, most unmarried people own a cell phone, which makes staying in touch a breeze. But don’t freak out when your spouse gets a call or when they have to go to a meeting or training during your vacation time. They’re doing their job. Everything is likely well.
The most common communication issue firefighters face is the inability to speak when having a self-contained breathing mask. Furthermore, most handheld radios are difficult to operate while wearing full personal protection equipment and talking on a mobile phone with a spouse. Firefighters work with life situations, other firefighters, and bigger-than-life heroes who are outstanding and magnificent.
As a result, firefighters have a strong bond with one another. Due to similar experiences, firefighters may have significant talks without even speaking, perspectives that a partner can’t even pretend to relate.
Wrap Up
Regardless of the difficulties of courting a firefighter and the risks that accompany the profession, most people believe that they would not alter a thing. Seeing a firefighter is a fantastic experience; however, it takes a unique individual to make it a success.
Tolerance, a level mind, and a lot of kindness aid in the success of partnerships. Most of the time, dating a fireman is the same as seeing anybody else.
Nevertheless, a partnership can face various obstacles due to the working time, high stress, and risk of accidents and hazards. To be comfortable courting a firefighter, you must first recognize and accept such limitations.
It is vital to remember that you and the person will determine the most of your experience dating a fireman. To be a fireman will not alter one’s literary preferences or need for (or lack of) soft furnishings in their homes.
It will be a terrible encounter when you are not compatible as an individual, but it will be a wonderful encounter if one is compatible. However, there are some things to keep in mind about dating a fireman specific to the job.
Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.