Leave The Past Behind: 6 Ways To Learn The Art Of Un-Loving
By Kate Thora
April 13, 2017 • Fact checked by Dumb Little Man
Learning how to fall out of love isn’t easy.
You simply can’t stop thinking about them. They don’t return your texts, never call back, and don’t want to see you anymore- yet you keep on loving them.
People stick to bad relationships for many reasons and the most powerful one is being ‘in love’. While the feeling is positive, it can bring a lot of negative effects, especially if the feeling isn’t mutual anymore.
Relationships can become difficult and sacrifices may be necessary. This, however, doesn’t mean that you have to give up respect in your relationship. If this is exactly your case, it’s probably the right time to start learning how to fall out of love.
Here are 6 ways to help you learn the art of un-loving.
Give yourself time
Falling out of love takes more time than falling in love. That’s why you can count on time to help you deal with your problem. It’s true that time does heal. It can influence that part of your brain that keeps on loving the person.
By giving yourself time, it doesn’t mean that you’ll just wait for all your emotions to go away. While you are healing, find out a new hobby you can try. Exercise and hang out with your friends or just do activities that make you feel good. You’ll feel calmer and more relaxed.
Stop replaying memories
When you’re thinking about the good times you’ve spent with the person you’re trying to un-love, you’re only hurting yourself. You need to get out of your head and stop replaying these memories.
You can’t expect yourself to detach from your past relationship if the memories are still alive in your brain. If you keep on doing that, you’ll also start to imagine the good times you could have together in the future. And that’s not a way to move on.
Remove all reminders from eyesight
If you have anything that belongs to your ex-partner, it’s best if you can let it go. If you don’t, you’ll inevitably get stuck in the harmful memory loop.
Ask the person to pick up his things or just throw away any pictures or photos you have of him.
Sometimes, it’s also a good idea to delete all chats and messages. The content of your previous conversations might haunt you, or worse, give you hope that he might actually love you back someday.
See Also: What To Do After A Break Up: A Handbook For Every Newly Single Guy
Avoid repeating your ideas about love
There are some things about love you’re probably wishing to be true. In reality, however, these thoughts are just your own projections and expectations.
If you keep on thinking about your past relationship and partner and how things can still work out, you’re just placing yourself in a very difficult situation. You’ll become the creator of your own misery.
As much as possible, try to control and get rid of those self-defeating thoughts. Thinking of them can only give you false hopes.
Don’t find excuses to see them
Being in love with someone means that you’re probably hopeful they might return your feelings. That’s why you might think that it’s a good idea to see them and make them change their mind.
The truth is that you can only change your own mind. You have no control over the feelings of other people.
If you find yourself thinking about your ex, you should avoid the places where you know they hang out. You’ll never move on if you keep replaying “What if?” scenarios in your head.
Forget about ‘The One’
Finally, you should simply get rid of the myth that there is only one person who is perfect for you. The truth is that there are a lot of people you can still meet if you just go out of your circle.
Relationships can be tough, especially if your feelings get the best of you. Despite this, you need to keep in mind that learning to love also involves learning how to let go.
While you’re losing precious time chasing after someone who isn’t a good match for you, you’re probably missing out on an opportunity for a better relationship and partner.
Kate Thora
Kate Thora is a Senior Content Specialist for Uphours, an online resource with information about companies. She loves to play sport, write and dance to her favorite traditional Indian music. Follow her on Twitter @katethora1