The One Post Breakup Thing Women Need to Do
By Merri Du
September 21, 2018 • Fact checked by Dumb Little Man
“I’m not happy anymore. I see no future with you. I will never love you. You need to accept that and move on. I’m sorry.”
As cliché as it may sound, that was the last I heard from the guy I was so desperately in love with. He’s the guy who dumped me for his major insecurities, male ego, and limitless tail-chasing.
After some time, he went with a follow up stating that he wanted the possibility of a friendship with me- different from what I had been hoping for with him.
You’d like to think that I immediately jumped at the chance to get back together, even if it’s just on a level of completely platonic pals. Or perhaps one of his many previous conquests-now-turned-buddies.
Well, let me tell you this.
I was not that desperate and pathetic.
Flipping him off was below my ladylike standards, so I told him an outright no.
Naturally, he didn’t understand my reluctance as much as I couldn’t comprehend why he wanted to keep me with him, when in fact he’d expressed openly in different terms that he’d rather close the chapter of his life where I was in it, to begin with.
How to handle a break-up with class
After a breakup, especially in this sort of situation, no matter how much you think it will work on your favor, never beg or plead. That’s even if you are still completely not over or might never be over him. By never, I mean it would be horrific and downright mortifying once you come to your senses!
Trust me. Begging does not work, even if you blackmail him emotionally.
And, do not accept a “Just Be Friends” proposition from the man who brutally jilted you under any circumstance at all! It would be unfair of him to ask that of you, especially when you didn’t want whatever relationship you had to end in the first place.
Handling breakups are different for the vast majority of us as there are a lot of factors that tend to vary.
However, acting loony will get you nowhere.
Overreacting would be a nasty faux pas.
Blowing up his phone and stalking him on social media would not only strain an already non-existent relationship. It would also make you- and not him- more miserable in the long run.
My dear women, I say, go through the breakup with class and what’s left of your dignity.
Various online dating gurus would tell you this and I can attest that it absolutely works a hundred and ten percent: Lose all form of contact with him, as long as it would take for you to reconvene your feelings and your life in general.
Human nature dictates that pain is unwanted, in every aspect, be it physical or emotional.
Unquestionably, going through your normal routine will prove to be very, very difficult. You may find yourself at the end of some nights tired, weeping, and lonely but don’t fret too much. It’s all part of the process to heal yourself.
The bottom line is for you to get a life where you are happy and secure with yourself. You don’t need him to be in it.
Then, live that life and let things run their course.
If he comes back, then it’s up to you to accept him. If you do accept, set boundaries for yourself, which he has to learn to respect.
In case he doesn’t, well, do you really want a man who wants to stay uncommitted and yet desires the benefits of a committed relationship?
See Also: Let Go of Your Ex: 7 Excuses You Need to Stop Making Now