26 Signs He is Making Love To You
By Ruth Jesse
January 10, 2024 • Fact checked by Dumb Little Man
There is a lip when it comes to having sexual intercourse and making love. Having sex can happen to anybody, but you need to have a different kind of relationship in order to make love to each other.
Making love is a very intimate process as compared to having sex where no intimacy is required, as long as you get that orgasm. It is not just a physical act for someone seeking physical pleasure but rather it is a series of intimate moments.
Sex can be a result of physical attraction and sexual tension, making love comes from the fact that you care for each other and want to have something more than just sex.
What are some of the signs he is making love to you that will help you measure up the extremity of your intimate relationships?
This article is dedicated to helping the ladies find signs that will show them if he is making love to you or if he is just having sex with you in your sex life. Number 3 is my favorite, read through the article to find out more such signs.
📌 Don’t be confused! Confirm these 26 signs he is making love to you 📌
1. He kisses you a lot, while seemingly enjoying it
Kissing is a very intimate act. When a person kisses you, usually it reflects their desires and affection for you. It can’t get more intimate than that and so speak, when making love, kissing sets the tone and mood for everything else that is to follow.
A number of scientifically-proven benefits of kissing include boosting the production of happy hormones, which help you bond with your partner as well as relieve stress and anxiety.
Shirtless Man Kissing a Woman while Lying on Bed
Never downplay the effects of kissing in your sexual life. It shows it is not just sex.
Kissing should not only be on the lips, but you also have many parts that kisses can land on and if a guy kisses you during foreplay and throughout the act, this is one of the signs he is making love to you.
2. There is eye contact
Eye contact is part of the lovemaking process. Avoiding eye contact signifies that he is only enjoying himself and he does not really care much about how you feel.
When you are making love and he stares deep into your eyes, he wants to see if you are enjoying the act just as much as he is.
Chances are, by staring into each other’s eyes, you enhance the sexual experience and you get past that point where you are just having great sex.
This constant eye contact is one of the signs he is making love to you.
3. Kisses not just for the lips
Having sex might trigger kissing which often concentrates on the lips. Making love goes beyond lip kissing.
Tender kisses that are rosy and comforting land on your chicks, neck, forehead, and your chest area.
Kissing is key and if he is landing them all over you, chances are that that dude is truly making love to you and not just having sex with you.
4. He hugs you
When he is having sex with you, he might sink his nails in your neck like he wants to devour you. He might grab your boobs and squeeze them like a wet sponge. This kind of animal act occurs only when he is madly aroused.
It is just sex, and that is all to it. When he is making love to you, he holds you gently, hugs you in a soft way almost as if you are a cozy piece of fabric or a valuable antique. He does not dominate or overpower you; he cuddles and allows you to feel his soft touch, his hot breath, and his masculine strength upon you.
Hugging and cuddling is not a very natural male instinct but when he does that just know that is one of the signs he is making love to you.
5. Definitely foreplay
Unlike men, women take time to go into orgasm. This lengthy process starts with foreplay all the way to the end. If he teases you before getting into the kingdom, that is another of the many signs he is making love to you.
If he wants to make love to you, he will spend time during foreplay to get you ready. He will explore all inches of your body; he will touch you gently in a desirable manner until you are weak and ready. Only then can he make love to you.
6. He thinks about pleasing you
Sex is about him ejaculating. Lovemaking is a two-party process aimed at giving both of your equal satisfaction.
One sign that he cares about making love to you is that he takes into consideration the fact that, you need pleasing too, and attention as well. He aims to ensure that both of you get the best out of that sexual act. That is one of the signs he is making love to you.
When performing sexual acts, the focus is always on pleasing each other by paying attention, engaging in pillow talk, and creating the right sexual intimacy.
7. There is no rush
Sex can be spontaneous and fast or slow and passionate. It is usually rough and aggressive sex that only one part benefits without any form of deeper connection.
Usually, having sex tends to favor the spontaneous’ highly hyped- rough kind of way. Love-making is slow, you build slowly towards the end, you take time to understand each other’s needs and what makes you happy before going into orgasm.
If he wants to make love, he will want to experience the process almost to infinity, and this means that he will be slow, considerate, and passionate. It can even start with dinner, then some fun games before intensive foreplay all the way to the end.
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8. All focus is on you
Some guys will try to satisfy you in bed in an attempt to show off. Others will only focus on themselves and when they are satisfied, they never consider the state that you are in. A guy has to pay attention to you and the intimate moment to ensure he doesn’t use the moment for his own pleasure.
Usually, this is having sex, love-making has a different approach. He will try to satisfy you; all his focus will be on pleasing you. He wants you to love the things that he is doing, and that is a clear sign that he is making love to you.
9. He is very honest
Men are always very honest with the women they care about. They tend to play games when they don’t feel anything special for you.
When a man wants to make love to you, he will be true about his intentions. He will not lure you or trick you into sleeping with him. He will put his feelings out there by telling you what he really wants.
This shows that he is not just after sex, but he cares for you and wants you to be in the right state of mind in case you consider making love to him.
10. He asks what you like
If a man wants to have sex with you, he will without much caring about the little details that matter to you. If a man asks about your sexual quirks, he only wants to know so that he can please you the right way. This is a sign that he intends to make love to you.
A man who wants to make love to you will experiment with new things and explore various aspects that are most likely to give you, please. He wants you to enjoy just as much as he does.
11. There is a sense of vulnerability
Having sex doesn’t require any form of vulnerability. It is a selfish act that considers no emotions nor has no need to form any meaningful bonds.
Making love requires opening up, you talk, you listen, you foreplay and then you perform the act. All these events do not go well with a stone-cold heart. Everyone has to open up and say what they feel or what they want. This is a clear sign that there is love-making in your relationship, not just sex.
12. No sex lets Netflix and chill
Many relationships involve inviting each other into close rooms and blowing each other’s brains out by engaging in intercourse. This is having sex and is quite the opposite when your relationship involves making love to each other.
Sometimes, you just walk in the park, other times, you catch a movie or go out for dinner.
When a man does these things with you, it shows that he wants to know you, he wants to spend time with you without expectation of sex.
This shows love, it shows compassion and it shows that he enjoys making love to you just as much as he wants to know you as a person.
13. He tells you his sexual fantasies
Love-making can be intense. Sometimes, there are sexual fantasies that might be tried in a relationship. However, it is hard to know of these fantasies if a person isn’t straight with you.
A man who loves making love to you shares his fantasies, this sounds silly and ducky but it might enhance your sexual life.
14. He whispers and mumbles
A man will whisper and mumble words, he will call your name to orbit your ears softly when he is making love to you.
Sometimes, a man will tell you how pretty you are gently through your ears, he will make you the center of his universe and he will want you to know that.
If he does all this, then you should consider this a sign that he is making love to you, and not merely having sex with you.
15. Sweet talk instead of dirty talk
Sex goes hand in hand with dirty talk. On the other hand, making love is a product of sweet talk. Talking dirty comes from the desire to have hot animal sex, it is what puts people in the mood before having sex.
When he wants to make love to you, the foreplay is a little different. Sweet passionate words are used, the whole process is gentle and if there is much talking, it is all about telling you how beautiful you are, while touching your body gently and not whooping your ass aggressively.
Don’t get me wrong, lovemaking can be extreme too, however, since all of you are not in a hurry to get over with the act, you take time to prepare each other, before proceeding with the act.
Does he mean when having sex, does he pumper you with passionate and affectionate words and actions before the act? Does he tell you that he loves you, does he compliment you or does he insult you?
Making love talks about all the good and passionate aspects, sex is animal in nature, so, don’t be surprised when he calls you names, roughly handles you, and ignores your desires and needs.
16. The ending matters
Foreplay is an important indicator as to whether or not your partner is making love to you. When it comes to how he ends sex, a lot can be established too.
Making love ends with him panting and gasping and most likely, writhing with pleasure. Making love isn’t just about his orgasm anymore, and that is evident when he clings close to you and wraps his arms around you tighter and tighter.
A man making love to you wants both of you to experience orgasm together. He wants you to have an equal piece of the cake, he does not act like someone who has had his share of pleasure, and nothing else matters anymore.
Even after making love, a man will want you to know that you still matter to him, he will want to show appreciation while at the same time, still showering you with after-sex affection.
When he gets up and leaves after the act, then you just had sex with him, he has no special connection with you. You know it was making love when he still looks at you the same way he did before you got into bed with him.
17. After sex cuddles
Some people will prefer if they are given space after sex as they are not into cuddling. This does not necessarily mean that he is not into you.
In my experience, a guy who has just finished making love to you will want to cuddle, even just for a few minutes. He still wants to hold you tight in his arms, he still wants to run his fingers through your hair and he still looks at you straight in the eyes while smiling.
Cuddling originates from deeper parts of the heart, coupled with love and affection which lead him to make love to you in the first place. When he cuddles with you after sex, it means he still wants you, it, shows that he wanted to be with you and sex wasn’t the only thing in his mind.
It is okay if he leaves after sex, however, it makes you wonder if that is the only thing he wanted, or if he was making love to you at all. If he cuddles, willingly, if he still gives you those last-act kisses, then he is a keeper, and no doubt, he is making love to you.
18. You feel connected mentally
Making love is a mental process. No two people ever made love without being intertwined mentally with each other. As for a man who wants to make love to you, his mental radar is always high and this makes him consider your pleasure and satisfaction just as much as he does his own.
You can have sex with anyone, even a stranger because no mental underrating is needed. Making love starts in your mind, when the two of you are connected in such a way that you send each other mental signals, then you are no longer just having sex, but making love. Mental connection is vital for both of you to enjoy the act. You will understand what each other needs or desires, only if you have a mental connection.
19. He makes you feel loved
Sex is the most intimate act of all. That is why some people will feel very deep connections after intercourse.
If it hasn’t happened yet, wait for it. You will meet people who will tell you the L-word after sex, all this suggesting the intimate nature of the process.
A guy who makes love to you makes you feel loved. Sex can be disgusting, especially with all the regrets that come after the process.
However, you feel really drawn to this dude and you feel like he makes you feel loved. Actions speak louder and for a guy who enjoys making love to you, boy does his actions speak louder. What he does during foreplay not only gets all your hair standing straight on your head, it also makes you feel really loved and appreciated.
What he does during the process of love-making blows your mind away. The way he talks to you, the way he holds and handles you, and the way he talks to you all work towards reminding you that he cares so much and he is into you.
Making love is mutual, it means that both parties are into the act, and if so, you will enjoy it as both of you appreciate each other.
20. He seems to be intoxicated by you.
Intoxication, like would a drug only occurs to a man if he is madly in love with you. If he is totally smitten, then he will definitely make love to you.
21. He has no problem changing things when you ask him to
Some guys will do stuff that doesn’t go well with you and in that instance, you ask them to change.
He might be going too fast while you prefer him to slow down a little bit. He might be too slow when you want him to move a little faster.
It is okay to speak and request what you like and if a guy is willing to make changes, in the process of intercourse, then he is making love to you and wants you to enjoy every bit without feeling suffocated. It is not just sex, it is all because he loves you and there is a deep connection between you too.
22. You laugh together
Since making love is a sweet passionate process, you shouldn’t have a problem laughing together while in bed. Laughing, just like cuddling signifies just how much you are into each other. When you can laugh with him, even in the middle of lovemaking, then your relationship is fur deep.
It can be a silly thing that you said or something he did and you both burst into laughter. Well, if you can do that, you are comfortable with each other and when you get together, he makes love to you and not just have sex with you. That is the kind of emotional connection a woman needs.
23. The sex positions matter
Certain positions are common when people have sex. For instance, if he is only interested in the doggy style, then he is minimizing eye contact an aspect that is vital in lovemaking.
With lovemaking, it is important to start in the positions that will allow you to have maximum eye contact and if the process works itself into nasty positions, it is all good. Trying out many different styles or positions strengthens your emotional connection and bond.
Missionary or cowgirl face-to-face positions are the go-to styles if he wants to make love to you. Be free to explore and make your love life interesting.
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24. He is nervous in the bedroom
Men always act shy or nervous when they are to make love to the women they care about.
Sex knows no boundaries and can happen anywhere without a man feeling shy or awkward.
A man who makes love to you gets nervures in the bedroom. He behaves a little unusually as he does when you are outdoors. This can be a sign that indicates how much he likes you. Love-making has boundaries, and these boundaries bring about shyness.
25. He likes to stay over
I with no doubt know that this is familiar territory for most women. Having spent time with a dude, probably had sex and for some reason, he puts his clothes on and leaves.
This is low and leaves most women feeling used and unloved. The woman will be left wondering if physical needs are all he was after.
Some guys will find it very difficult to be in the same space with you after having sex. Such behavior might be labeled as a “Guy Thing” but honestly, it is not.
A man who cares about you will want to stay over because he knows that going away won’t resonate well with you.
The two of you can cook dinner, talk about all sorts of things, do some cleaning, or sip some wine together.
This clearly shows just how much you mean to him. He loves and cares for you. If he stays throughout the night, he will be the first to wake up and prepare breakfast. If he brings the breakfast to bed, then he truly had a good time with you.
If he leaves in a hurry, without any reasonable explanation, he likely came over to have sex with you, and now that he has, he has no reason to keep hanging around.
26. He makes plans after
One sign that shows he enjoyed being with you is when he calls you and makes plans to meet you again.
A man will want to keep seeing you, especially when you don’t live together only if he cares for you. A man who wants sex from you will only call when he wants your body.
You know that he wants more of you when he calls, makes plans to meet you, and honors those plans.
It can be a coffee or tea date, or a walk in the park. Irrespective of how big your next meeting will be, the gesture is the same, it indicates that he is affectionate and respects you as a human being.
If he calls only when he is thirsty, then he only wants sex and love-making isn’t part of your relationship.
There are many ways to know whether or not your sex can be called lovemaking. The above signs only shed light on the many little details that you have ignored in the past but now need to be on alert for.
Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.