“Why Am I Not Good Enough?” (Reflect On These Instead)
“Why am I not good enough?” – what does that mean?
The reality is that most people have this inner dialogue. A complicated web of defense mechanisms and feelings of why we are not good enough. We want what we can’t have and wish we had it differently. It’s draining to spend our time wishing we had it and feeling good on another way. I know it is easier to say, but every day is a blessing and there are many people who would be honored to be with us because we are beautiful, loved, and worthy.
1. Been told that nothing that you’ll ever do is “enough”
For some people, no matter what you do, it will never be enough. They will just keep taking and taking until you have nothing left to give or are too exhausted to be present; and then they will accuse you of not doing enough, of not giving them anything, or not of being there for them.
They will never be satisfied with what you do have and will only focus on what do not have.
2. Beating yourself up for your past mistakes
Stop beating yourself up over your past mistakes. You are not your mistakes. You are not your past. You are not what you’ve done or what’s been done to you.
Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean you are one. Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on and be on the right track.
3. Feel like you’re not as “good” as other people
You need to ignore the people pleasers and what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past, not other people.
Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time. No big deal.
4. Downplaying your strengths
Know your strengths. If you struggle, ask those who know you best. Always capitalize on your strengths by asking yourself in any given situation, how you can use your existing strengths to achieve a positive outcome. We are all good at something. But no one is good at everything!
5. Feel like you don’t deserve good things
Don’t hate what you don’t understand. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. It’s always like this: the degree of possession is inversely proportional to the sense of value but you can not escape the consequences.
Never forget that there are no impossible things. It all depends on how much you want something and what you are willing to sacrifice for it. The more importance you give yourself, the less you weigh in place. Slow down and enjoy life.
6. Have anxiety about what you might do wrong
Sometimes the right decisions feel so wrong, hurt so many feelings, break a relationship, and don’t feel good. So how do you know if it was, or is, the right decision? That comes down to a combination of a see understanding of yourself through self-regulation and self-awareness, seeking professional help and advice from other person people like a therapist, and hope & faith.
7. Not discovering your own untapped potential
My ultimate wish for you is to see the beauty that you are and the potential for all that you can be. From an adult child, you may not see yourself growing, but you are outgrowing the past behind you and fitting into your new you. Be excited to see all the greatness that you are destined to become. You might not see it now, but one day you will look back and be proud of who you are.
8. Growth Needs Time
This growth is different. It’s mature growth that needs to be constantly moving towards maturity. It’s having the strength to separate yourself from other people, the relationship with these difficult people. The courage to step out from a toxic relationship and try something new and facing the kickback you receive head-on. Trust the process, we’ve all been there.
9. Ask for help from your parents
We often disregard support from our family members, our parents play a key role in our lives. In our parents eyes we will always be good enough, probably the best. Affirmations coming from our families are not just feeling good words but deep down comes from deeply rooted relationships which friends can’t even suffice.
10. Be Aware Of Your Decisions
When you make a decision, you’re saying NO to some options. The question is: can you be accountable enough to face it? The only way you will regret a decision is if you can’t own it even if it fails and you don’t get your desired results regardless if its right or wrong. When you stay accountable for the choices and feelings you make no matter the results, then your decision becomes a critical puzzle piece for the bigger picture.
11. Your negative thoughts have impacts
Fill yourself with positive thoughts, keep the ball rolling, keep on making mistakes and learning from them. You will only develop if you do something. Mingle with friends especially the positive ones. Stop questioning yourself “Why am I not good enough?”
There are infinite ways of looking at life, including: “I’m where I need to be.” It’s less about what you’re thinking of doing and more about what you will cut off to do it. No matter what, MOVE AND IMPROVE.
12. Self Love: An Underrated Language
All of us have a vision of who we want to be and what we are good at. We all have a sense of self love, self esteem and basically self-worth, which helps us decide how we’re going to behave, but it can also make it hard for us to be aware that we might not be good enough as a human.
13. Fear of Missing Out
You owe it to your future self to become the best version of yourself. You are your own person. You’re not missing out on a few things, or anything when you’re focused on leveling up. You’re not missing out on anything when you’re busy getting your life together and working on your goals and dreams. Remember that.
14. Stop Comparing Yourself
When you’re 17, this kind of social comparison is appropriate- to some degree. When you’re 30, your life is idiosyncratic. It’s multidimensional and unlike anybody else’s good luck. So it’s not reasonable to compare yourself. You only see one dimension. You don’t have the whole picture. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
15. Appreciating Self-love and positive Self-talk
What if we chose to appreciate every moment as if it was our last?
Life is always calling us to find new ways to wake up to the inconceivable gift of it all. It is from this place of appreciation and awe that we can connect to our loved ones in more other factors like intimacy, respect, and other meaningful ways.
It’s one thing to say, “I love you,” and another to actually offer the currency of your unconditional love and total presence to your beloveds.
16. Valuing Your Own Self Esteem
There’s some real value in gratitude and self-esteem.
Perhaps you are overvaluing what you don’t have and undervaluing what you do. Your character is the most important asset that you will develop in your entire life. Be defined by your qualities, not by superficial markers of ‘success.’
17. Flip Your Negative Thoughts
Be the person who breaks the cycle of negativity. If you were judged, choose to understand. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion.
Be that human being you needed when you were hurting, not the human being who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you. Heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.
18. Your time is about to come
There is no race! You are only competing with yourself. Just continue to spend time on improving yourself and celebrate your wins along the way. Too much pressure might lead you to make rash decisions.
Don’t be impulsive or hasty in decision making. Be aware that we are usually driven by the need for instant gratification. Long term rewards are better than short term joys.
19. Not Knowing Your ‘Why’
WHY do you need to find your WHY? Is it really a requirement before you can start?
Ok, here’s the thing… Sometimes, your purpose is found AFTER the action, not before it. It is NOT a pre-requisite to start.
It a lot easier to be theoretical and inspiring. We always hear, “Always remember your Why”, but how will you remember your Why if you don’t even know what your Why is?
Most of the time, we misinterpret our “Why” with something we like doing and letting other people decide for us. But simply liking something won’t cut it.
20. More Money Doesn’t Determine Your Self Worth
WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH WITH MONEY?
Skills? Knowledge? Capital? are these the only things needed to earn money?
But it makes a huge difference. It’s how they work past and define their WORTH.
A professional advice… You will not increase your feeling of worthiness (feeling good) just because you have a lot of money my friend. In fact, you’ll get more money because you know and use your worthiness including in relationships.
You’ve always been worthy, no matter how many zeroes you have in your bank account. How you realize, see, value, and use that worthiness is all up to you.
21. Embrace The Struggles
Moving forward and traversing a new path is hard. What’s that thing you’re willing to struggle for?
Focus on what you can do now and always look at how far you’ve come. Gain knowledge and experience. Find your allies who support you. Make mistakes. Get heartbroken by a human and live. Live intentionally. Live deliberately. When you do, your WHY will find you.
22. Knowing Your Worth
If you allow self-doubt and you’re always thinking and feeling not good enough, ” Is this all I can do?” and “Heck! Why am I not good enough?”, then that’s exactly what you’ll get.
How you see and value yourself and your relationship with other people will dictate how much you price your work, what paycheck you will tolerate, how you plan out your self and skill development, the kind of partner you will choose, the type of friend or peers you’ll hang out with, and generally, what kind of life you will intentionally support and strive for.
Still think you’re not good enough?
23. It Doesn’t Get Easier, You Just Get Better
Looking back, you’ve felt you grew instantly, but the reality is that it was a gradual progression accompanied by self-love and worth in the abstract. Change does not occur overnight. It takes time to become you. How else would a caterpillar turn into a beautiful butterfly. Still think you’re not good enough?
What you don’t realize and the good news is that you’re growing. The times where you as a person feel stagnant like you’re not good, stumped, or even being pulled backward by self criticism can be deceiving.
24. Keep Going
You are doing far better than other people and yet you give yourself a tiny credit for. Appreciate small victories and stop thinking about these negative thoughts, again those are just thoughts. Lastly, keep moving strong with faith.
All of us have encountered it before: It’s not about being good enough. It’s about being outstanding enough to be recognized for what you are and how far you’ve come.
Conclusion
If you tell yourself that you’re not good enough, you’re bound to live up to that belief. It might help you feel better about yourself to think about who you are and what you’re good at. After all, we all want that feeling-good moment right?
Sometimes the best way to stop feeling like you are not good enough is to work past and take your failure and turn it into a positive.
